4 Signs You’ve Gone Christmas Crazy

People tend to go a little overboard during the holiday season, but, for some, that desire for Christmas Decor can send them into a tailspin of insanity. Watch your friends and neighbors to see if they have gone…queue ominous drumbeat…Christmas Crazy.

Lightsapalooza

If you start getting calls from NASA to turn down your lights because the astronauts in space keep thinking a comet fell to Earth, then you’ve got a few too many lights out on the lawn. When Santa Claus stops by a week early because he got lost and assumed the massive light seen from space was his house, take down a few lights. Santa’s reindeer will stop and refuse to move when they see your house because of the deer-in-the-headlight effect.

Santas Santas Everywhere

The World Health Organization along with the CIA and FBI raid your home assuming you are illegally making human clones. They have egg on their faces when you tell them you just bought out all the stores’ Santa figurines. They still watch your house because that’s just way too creepy to be good. When stores enact a 10 Santa limit because of you, then you have an obsession with Christmas and should seek professional help.

Stockings Were Hung By the Chimney… Refrigerator, Mantle and Any Open Space…With Care

You know you’ve gone Christmas bonkers when you have enough stockings up for an orphanage full of children…and you don’t even have any. You can add another few points on the creepy meter if the stockings all have names on them. You can register off the creepy meter charts by actually putting treats and presents in each stocking. Also, a stocking is a big sock you hang up. Stalking is a criminal offense, so stop hanging out by the mall near Santa’s car already.

EIB: Elves in Black

You mistake the large men in white suits at the door for Christmas elves with a glandular problem. They want to put you in a special jacket, but you insist it’s not cold in the house. You keep trying to get them to fix your shoes and ask them what Legolas is really like. Things turn bad when you try to stick one into a pot to “see what elf meat tastes like.” They finally succeed in strapping the jacket around you and your neighbors watch with glee as they haul you off to Happy Acres Home for the Yuletide Insane.

You can’t figure out why you’re in there, but you’ve made lots of good friends, including a guy who swears he knows the Easter Bunny. And as the Christmas season comes to a close, you wonder if your padded room has a chimney for Santa to come through.

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