You started Christmas shopping in October and had it finished up by Thanksgiving. After a quick trip to the store for some wrapping paper and a free afternoon, your Christmas duties were done. You put them all in a bag and set them in the closet, waiting for the big day.
A few weeks later, after celebrating your forthrightness and early birdery, you grab the bag and head out to the big family gathering. Little did you know that at some point during that time of celebration, the vibration caused by your Ke$ha remix CD caused one of the presents to fall out of the bag and land harmlessly in the back of the closet.
As Uncle Arty’s present gathers dust, you’re mortified when he looks up from his pile with those sad puppy dog eyes and says “Where’s my present? Did I do something to make you mad?” Suddenly, a single tear falls from his eye and everyone looks at you scornfully. How dare you make an old man cry, you horrible person.
Stop! Your next move decides whether you get invited next year. As they stare at you — you know…scornfully — you look up, horrified, and tell the truth. You bought a present, but must have left it at home. If you live nearby, go home and search for it. If you can’t find it, then buy a new one from any store open.
It doesn’t matter if Uncle Arty gets a coffee cup that says “World’s Greatest Mom” as long as you make an effort. You can tell him you’ve always considered him a very matronly and motherly figure in your life.
If you’re not anywhere near home, then tell them that you’ll get the present and bring it down next time. Everyone will give a fake smile and quietly keep to themselves the thought that you skipped out on buying old farty Arty a gift this year, and you’ll buy one next time you come down.
Surprise them by mailing the gift as soon as you get home. They’ll still think you forgot to buy him a gift, but at least you’re a fast shopper.
Next year, count the presents before you go and make sure every one is accounted for before you leave the house. It will all be forgotten next year, especially when you spend double on Uncle Arty’s gift.
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