4 Crazy Ways to Keep Your Pumpkins Long After Halloween

So, you went a little overboard and decided you’d carve out about 30 pumpkins depicting the entire “Bambi” movie. Sure, it scared the heck out of the kids that one pumpkin shows mommy getting whacked by a hunter, but it’s your artistic expression.

Now, Halloween is over and you’re stuck with a front yard full of pumpkins. What do you do with them? It seems a little crass to simply throw them all away, but you know that Mother Nature is going to wreak havoc on your precious pumpkin pieces. Here are a few very impractical and absurd ways to keep them forever. My specialty.

Cryogenically Freeze Them

Add your pumpkins to the head of Walt Disney and other rich celebs that think that they’ll find a cure for death sometime in the future. Anyone that has seen “Fringe” knows this stuff actually works, “Fringe” is a documentary series right? Keep your pumpkins on ice and you can keep them forever…at least until you join them in 40 years.

Norman Bates Them

Norman Bates loved his mom even more than you love your pumpkins and that went really well for him…just not the guests. Mummify your pumpkins and keep them on display in your bedroom. Is it creepy? Yes. You can even wear one occasionally, just don’t be surprised when the men with the white coats come to take you away. They just don’t understand that love has no bounds, ya weirdo.

Fatal Attraction Them

Keep the rabbits away from you when you decide that if you can’t have your pumpkins, then no one will. The neighbors will come out in force when you pop out of your commune sporting a carving knife and garbage bag. Slice and dice those pumpkins into oblivion and your reputation as a psychotic lunatic is solidified. You won’t have to worry about Halloween again because no one is coming within 150 feet of your house.

Casper Them

With so much care and thought put into those “Bambi” pumpkins, it’s obvious you have imbibed them with life, and they have souls of their own. Let them rot on your front porch for a few months, and they’re bound to haunt you for the rest of your days. Sure, they may pull an Amityville on you, but let’s face it, you’re already hearing voices anyway.

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