Shouting Vase to Drown Out Your Temper Tantrums
It’s amazing to me what people will pay for these days.
Behold! The Shouting Vase! For only $80, this magnificent invention will allow you to scream at the top of your lungs without the neighbors hearing a peep! Something you’ve been waiting to do your whole lives!
I’m in the wrong business. This thing is just a vase with a hole in the bottom. Put some plastic flowers in it and you’ll never know the difference and call it abstract art.
I can do this, if not better. I wonder if I can fool the public to fork out $80 on a $5 pillow. I can hear the sales floor now:
Customer: “Umm, what is this?”
Salesman: “A Noise Stuffer.”
Customer: “No it’s not. It’s a pillow.”
Salesman: “To the naked eye it’s a pillow, but let me demonstrate.”
The salesman screams into the pillow. Only a muffle!
Customer: “Wow, I’m sorry. I’ll take two. Junior has a temper.”
I’ll call you guys from my soon-to-be beach house in the Hamptons.
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