Beauty Blog

Introducing the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse!
(a.k.a. - Death, Famine, Pestilence and War) - Ha!

Sorry folks but that’s what instantly came to mind when I saw these four, by the way anyone else think that Heidi Montag could be Tori Spelling’s slightly prettier, silicon injected sister? I see the resemblance, do you?

See how they all share the same vacant “come hither” stare. I kid you not if you stare at them long enough you can actually feel everything you learned in college slowly seep out of your ears. They are literally human intelligence repellent!

That said, they do look pretty. In the same way that I use to think Barbie was the prettiest doll in the world; hard, plastic, beautiful. Then I pulled off her head and saw that she was empty inside and my love affair ended.

ANGELS

Is she the second coming of Angelina Jolie? Well I would not go that far but Megan Fox is definitely a stunner. Please note I have a weakness for the dark haired, fair eyed, tattooed rebel girls but even if you are not a fan you must admit she pretty much takes your breathe away..

What I utterly adore about Ms. Anne Hathaway is her graceful “I don’t try, I just am” beauty. Plus she has that I’m smart yet nice face. I sometimes play a game inside my head where I secretly cast people in re-makes of movies, well if Disney ever made a real life version of Snow White I nominate Hathaway as the lead!

Just so no one thinks I have a thing against my fair haired vixens, presenting the lovely Charlize Theron. I always appreciate that she rocks hardcore couture from time to time but she keeps the makeup minimal and classic. Wait! Except for that one Oscar moment where she looked like a tangerine, but we all make mistakes…

Ahhh, the incomparable Ellen Page! What a breathe of fresh air she is genuine, funny, smart and beautiful. I hope she stays that way and doesn’t lose her soul in the depths of Hollywood.

What did you guys think of the celeb parade at this year’s MTV Movie Awards? Who were your hits and misses?

Introducing ground breaking technology, straight from France, that promises to freeze the aging process!

Created by Dr. Jean-Pierre Talmadge T’sow a former body builder who discovered that injecting his muscles before a competition with a mixture of purified water from the French Alps and the harvested DNA from unborn sheep embryos, literally froze and smoothed out his bulging muscles. Not only did it smooth out protruding muscles but he discovered that he could not move his arms and legs at the injection site. As the years passed, the rest of his body began to naturally age and wither, however the muscle groups that were injected with Le’ Facial Frozen remained smooth and Rubenesque.

Like all great discoveries, Le’ Facial Frozen was un-covered by pure happenstance. Dr. T’sow immediately began injecting his magic serum into his face and after 115 years, he does not look a day over 30!

Le’ Facial Frozen’s celebrity clientèle includes:

Paris Hilton

Nicole Kidman

Amanda Lepore

Note: Possible side effects include nausea, frozen expressions, diminished IQ and eventual loss of all facial movement.

To purchase Le’ Facial Frozen, click here.

Well, of course they say blonds have more fun, but the real question we should be pondering is: do short-haired blonds have more or less fun than their long-haired counterparts?