Beauty Blog » Beauty or the Beast?

Boy oh boy, do we live in confusing times! Not only is it becoming increasingly more and more difficult to make the distinction between metrosexual and just plain ol’ gay: but now we have to worry about our fellahs stealing our eyeliner - Stop the madness!!

To be clear I realize that men who work in the industry (ie. TV, movies, music) often have to become camera ready before getting in front of the lens. However more and more of these chaps are sporting the makeup off camera and in everyday life. Which brings us to the question at hand, Makeup on Men - Rockstars, Freaks or Geeks?

Wow! To think there was a time I would lay awake at night and dream that someday I would become Mrs. Jordan Catalano!! (My So-Called Life) Now he just looks like a greasy jerk with a Marilyn Manson fetish…

First of all what exactly is Pete Wentz famous for? What does he do? Anyone?

Well regarding his excessive eyeliner use, I couldn’t tell you who or what this guy does BUT I do know every time I see him in a photo he is wearing eyeliner. I guess we all have to be known for something?…

Lastly this is my friend Welfrey who is a makeup artist for M.A.C. makeup. Now granted he is of the gay variety and I give him some slack because I feel his makeup use is an extension of his craft, however would you not die if your man wore this much makeup?!?

Am I wrong ladies? I am a very open minded gal but I just can’t get behind men wearing makeup! The occasional tweezing of the unibrow is fine, lotion and cologne is a-ok, but I draw the line at eyeliner and face powder.

I need all the bathroom counter space as it is, and by god if I have to fight a man early in the morning for bathroom beauty time, well folks there will be bloodshed is all I am saying!

What do you guys think? Makeup on Men - Rockstars, Freaks or Geeks?

I know she looks like the Crypt Keeper, but she’s only twenty-one!!! WOW!

She is living proof why we should all invest in sunscreen, ASAP! Well in all honesty who didn’t see this coming? I have a teeny confession though, I actually liked her when she was little and felt not only was she a decent actress with plenty of potential, but that she was cute. Boy did I bet on a losing horse, huh?

Keep in mind this was circa:

Way before she became a freckled, crack smoking, belligerent, prostitute …

Honestly though I am fair skinned myself and everyone knows natural red heads are the fairest of them all. I always cringed when I would see photos of her donning a bikini in full sunlight completely unprotected from the SUN! She was either tangerine fake bake orange or tomato red or crack head gray. All I am saying is we aren’t living in the 70’s anymore, its a whole new planet kids. Minus a protective ozone layer, coupled with the green house effect of gases means sunscreen isn’t a selective beauty notion, it’s become a necessity! For all ye’ doubters, please refer to La’ Lohan gorgeous and fresh 21 year old face, I rest my case. Remember I preach because I care…

LESSON OF THE DAY:

+ + =

Excessive Drinking + Heavy Drug Use + No Sunscreen = Premature AGING

Class Dismissed!

Introducing ground breaking technology, straight from France, that promises to freeze the aging process!

Created by Dr. Jean-Pierre Talmadge T’sow a former body builder who discovered that injecting his muscles before a competition with a mixture of purified water from the French Alps and the harvested DNA from unborn sheep embryos, literally froze and smoothed out his bulging muscles. Not only did it smooth out protruding muscles but he discovered that he could not move his arms and legs at the injection site. As the years passed, the rest of his body began to naturally age and wither, however the muscle groups that were injected with Le’ Facial Frozen remained smooth and Rubenesque.

Like all great discoveries, Le’ Facial Frozen was un-covered by pure happenstance. Dr. T’sow immediately began injecting his magic serum into his face and after 115 years, he does not look a day over 30!

Le’ Facial Frozen’s celebrity clientèle includes:

Paris Hilton

Nicole Kidman

Amanda Lepore

Note: Possible side effects include nausea, frozen expressions, diminished IQ and eventual loss of all facial movement.

To purchase Le’ Facial Frozen, click here.

Spring is HERE! I guess the pollen in the air is laced with acid because you have to see Spring 2008’s Runway Looks!

Behold, I present to you this year’s crop of ….

THE STUPID…

Introducing the Grouch’s girlfriend “Garbage Pail Head” …

(designer Jeremy Scott collection)

Hey Lady, Hey Lady! There is a bird’s nest on your dome!

(designer: Moschino)

This is your face on drugs… any questions?

(Agatha Ruiz de la Prada Spring 2008)

THE UGLY

Wow! You should really have that looked at, is it itchy?

(Alexander McQueen Spring 2008)

Frau Unibrow is that you? Guess it’s hard to find work after Austin Powers!

(Andrea McWha Spring 2008 Collection)

The Great Gatsby Girl got into the meth jar again…tsk, tsk!

(John Galliano, Spring 2008)

and THE CRAZY

Argh! It’s the girl from The Ring, after a hot and heavy make out session with Ronald McDonald!

(Comme des Garcons, Spring 2008)

Umm, you weren’t suppose to take the disco ball home and make a hat after the party tard!

(image credit: Antonio de Moreas Barros Filho)

Last but not least it’s “Romanian - SARS - Ninja - Barbie” (human hair eyebrows comb included)

(Noki, Spring 2008)

Well I hope you enjoyed this latest trip to the circus with me, I can’t wait to see what these fashion titans think up next!

P.S.

Did I miss any really freaky ones, collection wise? Show me! What did you guys think of these makeup and hair choices?

Well Paul McCartney and Heather Mills long divorce battle has finally come to it’s gold digging end. The outcome, Heather Mills received 48.6 million dollars in the settlement!

Lordy, it’s enough for me to turn off my computer and burn my keyboard in effigy. Odd part is I use to have sympathy for Mills, what with the one leg and animal rights persona she use to peddle. But now, she just exudes a “gold-digging-makes-me-ashamed-to be-a-women-vibe” that I loathe.

Heather Mills initial monetary settlement request was $250 million! So I suppose we should be grateful that she finally accepted 48.6 million and let the whole bloody thing die. She is quoted as saying:

“They’ve called me a whore, a gold digger, a fantasist and a liar,” she said in one of a series of torrid television appearances in October.

To that I respond: “Well if the ONE shoe fits, Miss Mills!”

In honor of Heather Mills and all women like her; here is a tiny gold bucket and shovel you can add to you keychains. Ha!

14K Gold Bucket and Shovel Charm - $79.99

Do you think I am being to harsh? What are your thoughts?

Heather Mills - Love Her? or Hate Her?

Let me preface with “I love Chris March!” from Project Runway. I liked him from the onset. His rotund frame and jovial laughter warmed my icy heart. I always knew that Christian was going to end up on the final three (talented but cold he is) and I had high hopes for Jillian. However here is my two cents on Rami:

• While I loved loved his first Grecian drapery dress, it got old quick and he seems like a one trick pony!
• I started not liking him after that one episode when I felt he was insufferably rude to Sweet Pea (whose dress that episode was far superior to his! Karma sucks huh? Ha!)
• Lastly, I did not like his looks for the final runway show. While we all thank god he didn’t parade a string of Grecian gowns in different colors and fabrics, I felt the fit was all wrong and it was nothing new or inspiring.

Now let’s talk about Chris March and his use of HUMAN HAIR EXTENSIONS in his design work!

So the collar and trim of the jacket is lined with human hair extensions. At first I was a touch repulsed by the idea of human hair collars, but actually I think it was well designed and the idea of combing my jacket and flat ironing my coat kinda tickles me. I think its high time that some wit be interjected into the stuffy realm of high fashion!

I actually thought this dress was pretty. The hair extensions skirt looks nice and silky. More like fine mohair, one would never guess it was made of human hair. Also, I would have a field day at a party wearing this skirt and creating tall tales of how I was able to attain the scalps of hundreds of raven haired women!

If you would like to experiment with hair extensions in your apparel click here, or any of the “hair extension” links in the post.

So that’s my opinion, what’s yours?

Hair Scare? or  Hair Dare? 

Imagine if your new ‘do made the news?  Recently, Kate Moss caused quite a stir with those bangs of hers, and now, in the latest celebrity haircut news, Katie Holmes has gotten bangs and a sleek bob.  Once again…there is pandemonium.  It even has it’s own name: the bobcat!

Here’s what people are saying:

Bellasugar: “Every hair is in perfect place, so I can’t tell if this might be an excellent wig or if she just has her hair meticulously styled. Either way, it’s a striking change.”

Fashionista: “…her new and very severe haircut is so very goth, it adds a good 10 years to the well-married movie star.”

Jezebel: “Katie Holmes is rocking a new ‘do. Is it just me or is this a modified Saleisha [from America’s Next Top Model]? Or is it more of a mini-Wintour?

GlamBlush: “…I think it’s a wig! It’s a bit too fluffy at the top, and there’s not a bit of scalp showing.”

Dotspotter: “Katie Holmes got a stunning new haircut.  And by stunning, I mean I’m stunned she did her hair like this.  She looks like a mannequin, not a real girl.”

I say it’s super flattering and ultra-sophisticate.

Red may be the hottest color to dress your lips in this season, but before you apply another coat, you may want to consider the findings of The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics. A recent study by the group uncovered “surprisingly high” levels of lead contamination in red lipstick, and price had nothing to do with it–from bargain brands to high-end lines, the toxin was detected as an ingredient.

Lead in lippy has, until now, been regarded as an urban myth, but the independent laboratories that tested 33 brand-name lipsticks found that 61% had detectable levels of the harmful stuff. And 1/3 of those surpassed levels that the FDA allows for candy ( there are currently no regulations for lipstick). Some of the higher levels were found in L’Oreal, Cover Girl and Christian Dior.

The upside of all this, as the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics says, is that it’s possible to make lipstick without the health-damaging component as evidence by the fact that 39% of the samples had no detectable levels of the neurotoxin. Drugstore fave Revlon was included in this safe list.

Lead, which is a hot news topic lately, can lower IQ, cause aggression problems and endanger fetuses. According to Dr. Mark Mitchell, the president Connecticut Coalition for Environmental Justice, there “is no safe level of lead exposure.”

The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics is calling on the beauty industry to remove lead from their makeup formulas and demand that all suppliers guarantee lead-free ingredients.

In response to the study, L’Oreal told ABC News, that their products meet FDA requirements (again, the FDA does not regulate lead levels in lipstick) and that safety is a high priority for the company. Similarly, Proctor and Gamble, the makers of Cover Girl, say their makeup is subject to stringent safety testing. LVMH, who produced Dior, deny using lead in their lipstick, saying “trace amounts” of “harmless” lead exist in natural pigments.

Yikes!

I love high fashion more than most things in life because it’s one of the few areas of popular culture that remains interesting and edgy. Case in point: the Alexander McQueen show at Paris Fashion Week and the feather body applique that the designer, known for artful experimentation, featured on the runway. I saw this feathered face phenomenon featured on Beauty Snob today, and I had to share:

I think the real world effect of this whole feather thing will be far reaching in beauty and fashion, which is the logical next step for the bird trend that was so big this summer.  Feathered hair accessories, straight from the 80s, are about due for a comeback and we’ve already seen the influence of our avian friends on eyelashes. We’ll just have to wait and see.

All photos from Style.com. 

I preface this entry with two admissions. The first is that I think women spend entirely too much time and money on their looks when a few quality products, lots of Omega 3s, water and exercise are all that’s really needed. The second is that I have really long eyelashes.

Now, with that disclaimer out of the way, I give you the latest in cosmetic surgery (drum roll please): the eyelash transplant. Yup, you read right, CBS News reports that women are electing to have pieces of hair from their heads surgically implanted into their eyelids in order to get the effect of long, full lashes. One at a time, the follicles are implanted with a surgical needle to create permanent, growing lashes. The whole procedure takes about an hour per eye, and the recovery is pretty minor. The cost is about $ 6,000.

This news comes on the heels of the revelation in a recent New York Times article “Who is the Real Face of Plastic Surgery?” that 1/3 of people opting for cosmetic surgery have an average household income of below $30,000. In order to pay for the cosmetic procedures they desire, these Americans are borrowing money (often through high interest loans) or charging the procedures to their credit cards.

Interestingly, the women in both reports say they just wanted to fix something that’s always bothered them–small boobs, paunchy tummies, sparse eyelashes, etc.–and who among us doesn’t get that? I get that. I’d love to erase a few stretch marks, de-flab a few areas and look young forever, but that desire is more about the brain than the body if you ask me.

I just wonder what the long term affects will be on the American psyche (female and male) as such procedures get more an more routine and socially acceptable. It seems weird that we’re working toward perfection, an unattainable goal, when self-acceptance is so much more feasible and, though time consuming, a lot less expensive. I mean, $6,000? Sheesh!

Am I completely off? What do you think?