Helping Your Kids Deal with Bullying
Chances are, growing up you were either bullied or a bully. Bullying is a childhood experience that everybody deals with in one way or another. What does bullying mean? For some people, it’s that mean kid at school who always makes fun of them. For some, bullying may involve the biggest kid on the block who beats them up or takes their things. Sometimes “bully” means a group of several kids ganging up on another child.
Bullying can happen in several different ways. Physical bullying means hitting, kicking, or pushing someone, or even just threatening to do it. Stealing, hiding or ruining someone’s things and making someone do things he or she doesn’t want to do. Verbal bullying means name-calling, teasing and insults. Another form of bulling is called “Relationship Bullying”. It involves refusing to talk to someone, spreading rumors or lies about someone and forcing somebody to do something they do not want to do. A widespread problem right now is “Cyberbullying”. Kids have email these days, and with all the social networking sites and instant messaging they are finding new ways to harass each other.
When I was a kid and going through this stuff on the school bus, the general consensus was that a kid who was being bullied just needed to “toughen up”. I remember being told to “hit him back!” or to insult the bully. That kind of response many times just aggravates the bulling and puts the attention on the victim and not on the bully.
The Mayo Clinic suggests that parents handle the bullying of their child in the following manner:
- Encourage your child to share his or her concerns. Remain calm, listen in a loving manner and support your child’s feelings. Express understanding and concern. You might say, “I understand you’re having a rough time. Let’s work together to deal with this.” Remind your child that he or she isn’t to blame for being bullied.
- Learn as much as you can about the situation. Ask your child to describe how and when the bullying occurs and who is involved. Ask if other children or adults have witnessed any bullying incidents. Find out what your child may have done to try to stop the bullying.
- Teach your child how to respond to the bullying. Don’t promote retaliation or fighting back against a bully. Instead, encourage your child to maintain his or her composure. He or she might say, “I want you to stop now,” and then simply walk away. Suggest sticking with a friend or group of friends while on the bus, in the cafeteria or wherever the bullying seems to happen. Remind your child that he or she can ask teachers or other school officials for help.
- Contact school officials. Talk to your child’s teacher, the school counselor and the school principal. If your child has been physically attacked or otherwise threatened with harm, talk to school officials immediately to help determine if the police should be involved. Don’t contact the bully’s parents yourself. You may also want to encourage school officials to address bullying as part of the curriculum.
- Follow up. Keep in contact with school officials. If the bullying seems to continue, be persistent.
- Boost your child’s self-confidence. Help your child get involved in activities that can raise self-esteem, such as sports, music or art. Encourage your child to make contact with friendly students in his or her class and develop his or her social skills.
- Know when to seek professional help. Consider professional or school counseling for your child if his or her fear or anxiety becomes overwhelming.
The bottom line: Bullying is serious. The impact on your child can reach into adulthood. Be ready to respond when bullying finds your child.
Find at Smarter.com: Shop for books on bullying.
Image Source: MSNBC.com
