It’s hard to tell what group a specific toyline is really targeted at. You can watch a PG-13 movie about a superhero and then see him in a children’s cartoon geared towards 10 year-olds, then find a toy at the store for ages 3 and up.

For example, let’s take the recent glut of Marvel superhero movies, like Thor, Iron Man and The Hulk. While none of the movies are particularly gory, there is a significant amount of violence, and occasionally, sexuality. Do you want your 10-year-old watching Tony Stark hopping into bed with his floozie of the week? No. The movies are geared toward a teenage and adult audience.

Then, you turn on the Cartoon Network or find something on Netflix, and find there are cartoons starring Iron Man, Hulk, etc. While nowhere near as realistic as the films, these cartoons still contain violence, but lack the sexuality and language. So now, we have the same characters marketed to a younger tween and mid-teen demographic.

Finally, there is the Marvel Superhero Squad, which features all the same characters, but has more benign adventures and focuses on teamwork and other feel-good themes to lull Mom and Dad into a sense of calm. These are obviously geared towards the younger kids.

So, the whole thing can be incredibly confusing to adults. We have the same characters marketed to three different age groups with each one a little edgier than the one before it. From a business standpoint, it’s smart. You’re building your audience from the cradle on up through adulthood. When they outgrow one, they slip right into the next.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to understand these subtle facets of kiddie marketing and make sure little Timmy is sticking with Super Hero Squad and not watching the Hulk (Edward Norton) mangle Tim Roth. Once again, it’s another hat that parents have to wear and be aware of. When Watchmen came out, many parents thought it was your standard superhero movie and brought their children to see it.

Many ended up leaving the theater holding their children’s eyes and ears shut. Anyone who would have read about the movie would realize that it was not for the feint of heart. It’s the same way with major media nowadays. What’s good for the goose isn’t always good for the goslings.

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Now that I’m a mom, it’s time to make our own decisions about our children’s allowances. My husband and I both feel that our boys should earn their $2 (inflation…what are you gonna’ do?), but we have to agree on how it will work. The two of us grew up with different allowance philosophies. My husband had a list of chores outlined with a variety of monetary values that corresponded to the difficulty of the task. If he did the work, he got paid for it. If he sat and played video games, he remained penniless on “pay day.” In my house, everyone in the family was expected to do their fair share of chores. We had regular tasks to help with like washing dishes, making our beds and when we got older, mowing the lawn, but if Mom and Dad were working on a larger project, like building bookshelves, we were expected to be at their sides and helping in whatever way we could. When Friday came and it was time for our allowance, we always got paid – $1.

So, basically, my husband was contracted and I was salaried. Looking back on it, that’s pretty darn funny, but what about our kids? There are pros and cons to each method of “compensation,” and we still haven’t reached an agreement on how we’re going to handle it. No matter what our personal preferences are, the bottom line is that we want our children to learn two things:

1. Everyone has responsibilities within a family.
2. Money doesn’t grow on trees and every last dime has value.

We want our kids to both contribute to running the household in whatever way they can, even if it’s making their beds and clearing their places at the dinner table, while learning how to handle money responsibly. Both of these lessons can be learned with allowances, as long as they know that it’s not a freebie, but something they earned.

Do you give an allowance at your house? What’s your system?

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Don’t fall into the “we’ll certainly need this” trap, especially if you have a modestly sized home. It’s hard to scale down what you want when you’re excited about bringing home a baby, but trust me, you’ll be thanking me in the future when you’re not storing your furniture to accommodate another Exersaucer.

As a mom of three, I can tell you from experience that you’ll save your future sanity and prevent your home from becoming a brightly colored, baby product storage unit if you make a list of things you know you’ll absolutely, without a doubt, need for your baby. Think about about what you’d use every single day, such as clothing, blankets, a high chair, car seat, crib and dresser. These are all items that you’ll use often and are worth investing more money in.

There are a few things that sound necessary, but when it comes down to it, don’t have a lot of life in them. A few items we could have saved our money on were the changing table, a bassinet and our large diaper bags…yes, I meant for that last one to be plural. These items are handy for a short while, but quickly become unused space hogs.

Once the excitement has worn off, you find yourself changing the baby wherever you are, like on the couch or bed. Bassinets are whimsical and beautiful, but within a few months, your baby will outgrow it. Large diaper bags are handy if you spend the night away from home on a regular basis, but for everyday trips, they’re just these mammoth bags of awkwardness. Stick to a medium-sized bag and you’ll have the appropriate amount of room for the essentials.

When it comes to toys, in the first couple years, less really is more. Realistically, your baby won’t even start playing with many things until she is at least four months old, and then it’s the little stuff like rattles, cloth books and teethers that will tickle her fancy. Instead of filling your nursery, and inevitably every other room in the house, with loads of toys, bouncers with different functions and gigantic activity centers, invest in one or two high-quality items that can be used for a long time or will travel around your house easily. Honestly, the two things my kids couldn’t live without in their first couple of years were their bouncer and Jumperoo. In fact, all three of my boys, who are all close in age, used the same bouncer and Jumperoo because we bought well, and saved cash and space to boot.

Other items that can be troublesome for parents-to-be, especially all the new dads out there, are techie products like wipe warmers and mobiles that do everything for you except change and feed your baby. These badboys sound great, but really offer very little in the “essential” department. Not only do they take up a lot of space, but they’re costly and continue to drain your wallet by constantly needing their batteries replaced.

When you’re planning your gift registry, or out shopping for your little one, consider what you’ll use on a regular basis. It’s better to invest more money in these items than waste the dough on baby products that will only end up cluttering your home.

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As you watch your kids grow, you notice the little things that make their eyes gleam and, even if you don’t quite understand it, you have a choice to make. Either deny their specific interests or try to understand and support their individuality. Who knows? You may come to find out you really enjoy it, too.

The best way to get in touch with what they enjoy is to get involved. Does your son want to learn how to dance to hip-hop music, or do your daughter’s eyes light up when she watches extreme cake-decorating shows? If you don’t have the slightest clue how to get jiggy with it or make the perfect fondant rosebud, chances are, there’s someone in or near your community who does.

With the Internet being available in most homes and libraries in America, parents have more resources than ever before. It’s all just a few key clicks away. Check local community colleges, libraries, recreation facilities, chambers of commerce, schools, dance studios and even parenting groups in your area. If you have trouble finding the specific information you need, one of these parent-friendly resources will be able to point you in the right direction or give you recommendations of their own.

If there aren’t official classes or clubs in your area, look for private tutoring, tours or lessons. For example, if your child likes insects, it might be hard to find a kid-friendly entomology class. Still, the chances of a local collector, science teacher or professor being able to spend time with the two of you are really high. Not only will you both learn interesting facts, but you’ll have your own unique mommy-and-me bonding experience that will be absolutely priceless.

Finding ways to support your children’s individual interests, no matter how off-the-wall they may seem to you, is important. They’ll appreciate your efforts and feel that you truly respect them as individuals. As they grow, they’ll, in turn, do the same for you. You’ll build a mutual trust and appreciation for each other on a very special level that will last you both a lifetime.

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For example, if you’re driving with her in the car, and someone cuts you off at an intersection, she’s taking in your reaction. If you honk your horn and shout an expletive, that’s going in her memory bank. If you look at her and ask, “Are you okay?” and then say, “Whew, that was close, but we’re okay,” she’s learning from that, too.

You may not think your actions are registering, but as you watch her grow, you’ll see how her coping style echoes what she’s learned. Let’s say, she’s building a tower of blocks on the floor and her brother knocks them down. How does she react? Does she get angry and cry, maybe even calling him a name, or does she brush it off and start building again?

How we behave on a daily basis rubs off on our children. I see it with my own kids. While they each have their own distinct personalities, it’s obvious, especially when unexpected things happen, that they take their cues from us.

My oldest son loves video games. He’s always enjoyed playing them with his dad, but now that he’s a bit bigger, he can totally hold his own. When he comes to a frustrating puzzle or situation in a game, rather than getting angry or quitting, he becomes totally focused and does it over and over again until he figures it out, just like his daddy.

It’s amazing to watch and we’ve never once had to calm him down or talk to him about perseverance. He’s observed that keeping at it yields results and has taken that as a lesson on his own.

Children’s minds are like amazing computers. They record and process everything they see. The example that we set as parents and role models sets the stage for how our children react and behave as they grow.

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As kids start getting older, they start to ask for things that require a great deal of responsibility. They want to have pets and walk to school on their own. That bike starts smelling like freedom and they get that itch to feel the wind in their hair as they ride two blocks to the neighborhood ice cream shop by themselves.

While my son’s not quite there yet, he’s ready to start building some independence and learning to exercise his judgment skills, so when the time comes, I feel he’s truly ready for some of the more big ticket freedoms and privileges for which every child yearns.

The hubz and I sat down last night and discussed what the Ky guy could start doing around the house to help out while building some leverage for himself in the responsibility department. We quickly realized there were plenty of things that he can do on a regular basis, to not only build his confidence in himself, but give us an ongoing opportunity to watch how his dependability increases and develops.

Kyan’s list of chores is broken down into weekly and daily tasks. We know at 5, he’s probably only going to complete a fraction of the list, and we’ll have to remind him from time to time, but every parent, and child, has to start somewhere, right? He’s more than capable of completing each job, and as we see him learning that with responsibilities come additional privileges, we hope that it will motivate him to become more of a self-starter, which is an invaluable quality for anybody to have.

If your kids are starting to ask for big ticket privileges, try giving them some responsibilities that will help you gauge how ready they are. Pets need a lot of care and staying home alone requires a long list of safety and problem-solving skills, as well as a general level of trust. Giving your kids ways to build these skills, as well as prove to you the level of responsibility they can handle, will help you determine when the time is right for such important privileges.

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The truth is often much more mundane, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t encourage them to be the best that they can be and expose them to as much as possible along the way. There are some parents out there who have their entire child’s life planned out, from birth through retirement.

The child will go to a certain school, graduate with pre-selected degree and get a job with a major company. That sounds so boring to me. Why would you push your child in a direction he doesn’t want to go? If he has a natural talent for numbers, taking things apart or caring for animals, then why would you push him into being a lawyer?

There is also the dreaded fear that one day your child will walk up to you and say, “I want to be an actor. I am going to college to study drama.” You can also substitute musician, artist and other similar occupations. It’s not that there is anything wrong with these occupations, but we know the likelihood of success is low, and we want to see our children happy, both professionally and financially.

In this case, I would suggest a second more… stable… major or minor to go along with it. A good combo would be business and drama or music, so he can still work in his preferred industry, but has more options. When it comes down to it, we have no idea what direction our children will eventually go. They may want to follow in Mom’s or Dad’s footsteps, get as far away from that as possible, or do something completely out of left field.

Growing up, my husband always knew he wanted to be a scientist. He went to school and scored a degree in physics before he discovered the life of a scientist wasn’t what he wanted. Luckily for us both, he happened to minor in English and really loved writing. So, when science didn’t end up to be his calling, he became a small-town journalist and was happy. As our family grew, it wasn’t cutting the financial mustard anymore, so he did large-scale PR for a scientific laboratory for three years. That physics degree came in handy after all.

Finally, he settled in as a freelance writer and is doing what he loves. His parents never pushed him in any direction. They just wanted him to be happy. So, if your son wants to be an actor, accountant, scientist or even cowboy, then let him try, but always be there to guide him when things get tough or he discovers the decision he made wasn’t exactly the perfect fit.

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Talk to Your Child

If your son happily mentions a certain child on a regular basis, then there’s a good chance that he’s developing a friendship with his classmate. Ask him what he likes about his new friend and what games and activities they like to do together. This will give you an idea of what they may be interested in doing if the child should come to your house.

Meet the Parents

Give your son’s friend’s parents a call and introduce yourself. Tell them that your son enjoys playing with him at school (this is a good time to mention what you found out they liked to do together), and ask if they would be interested in meeting for a play date.

Get Together

Arrange to meet up at a local play area or invite the child’s family over for dinner. This will give you a chance to observe how well the children really get along as well as get to know the child’s parents. It’s important to feel comfortable with the other child’s parents, because if your son is invited over to their house, then you want to feel secure.

Invite the Child Over

Once you’re comfortable having your son’s friend over, invite him to your house for a few hours. Make sure to ask if there are any special things you should know, for example, if he has any allergies or dietary needs. Also, make sure you have a number where the child’s parents can be reached. If they are planning on running errands and you only have their home number, then you won’t be able to get in touch with them if and when you need to.

Relax

While the children are playing, don’t fuss over making it the perfect play date. Keep an eye on them, but let them play together without a bunch of direction. The whole point is that they get to enjoy each others’ company outside a structured setting like school.

Nurturing your child’s friendships is important, and part of that is allowing them a chance to hang out together and just be kids. Arranging a play date is wonderful way to give your son an opportunity to develop his social skills, but most importantly, just have fun.

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This is a prime example of why it’s important for parents to understand the Web, discuss what they feel is appropriate use and know what their kids are doing on it. While this young woman was 16, many other children are independently using the net, unsupervised, at a much younger age. It isn’t unusual for a 10- or 12-year-old to have a Facebook page of his or her own now.

While laws are different from state to state, the country, as a whole, takes harassment very seriously. Children need to know that they are responsible for what they write online and there can be serious consequences to posting insulting comments about others for the world to see. All it takes is one person seeing it and filing a complaint.

By the same token, children also need to know their rights. If other kids are posting threatening, vulgar or profane images or messages about them, they should tell you quickly. Not only are these types of cyberbullying embarrassing, but they’re damaging to people’s reputations and shed an ugly light on their character.

If your child is a victim of such an attack, contact your local authorities. It may seem like cruel, thoughtless childhood shenanigans, but it is harassment and can carry long-term consequences. Think of your daughter applying for her first job. It’s common practice for potential employers to do Internet searches on applicants. What impression will her potential supervisor get if he does a search on her name and it brings up a Facebook page with your child being labeled with vulgar terms. Will they give her the benefit of the doubt or move on to another application?

Cyberbullying is serious business. The world is now connected by the Internet and messages that our children can have serious repercussions both in the short and long-term. Talk to your kids about responsible sharing on the net, so they’re safe all the way around.

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Every parent has a different style, but we all share a common denominator: Our kids will make mistakes that sometimes require discipline. While most kid-goofs are silly or trivial, warranting a short discussion, like dumping out the entire contents of a dresser, other offenses are serious, and a strong impression needs to be made, like leaving the house without asking a parent. A biggie like wandering out the door and going for a walk without telling anyone is serious. Any number of terrible things could happen before you even realize she’s gone.

Kids are kids, and they’re going to make the wrong decisions from time to time. That’s just part of growing up and learning. Parents have a duty to correct those mistakes and clearly outline consequences for making choices their kids know are wrong. It’s not a fun job, but it’s part of the fine print on that parenting contract we signed in the very beginning.

I was recently with my kids at an indoor play area. There was a child that was clearly making dangerous decisions that could have caused serious injuries to both him and the other children around him. His mom was sitting near me, reading a book. When the boy decided jumping from the top of the slide was a good idea, his mom responded with a head-shake. The little fella did it anyway, then climbed up for a second jump. This time his mom said, “If you do it again, we’re leaving.” He did it again. She sat where she was, shaking her head. He paid no attention to her and climbed up, yet again. By now, other parents, including me, were gathering our children, who now thought jumping off the slide was acceptable behavior. His mom, seemingly slightly embarrassed, still sat on the bench, “See, Tyler?” Now nobody wants to play with you.” He jumped again, while she sat there, legs crossed, shaking her head. This scene was still on instant replay when I left with my kids.

As I loaded my kids into the car, I thanked and congratulated them for listening and making good choices. I also clearly told them that I didn’t like the way the little guy at the play area was playing, because it was dangerous and it was naughty that he wasn’t listening to his mom.

My son’s response, “If I would have done that, you wouldn’t let me play on the computer.” And he was absolutely right. He knows, because I took the lesson on follow-through from my dad, that if he makes a choice that he knows is wrong, there will be a consequence. His mommy doesn’t mess around.

It’s hard to be a consistent disciplinarian, but it has to be done for our children’s sake. My guys are young, but I’ve laid a foundation in their noodles that I WILL make good on punishments. Little Tyler and his mom don’t have that dynamic to their relationship. He doesn’t listen when she says no, because what she says doesn’t hold any weight. She clearly told him she would take him home if he did it again, but then didn’t follow through. Tyler called her bluff.

Being consistent with praise and discipline are important for kids. It makes decision-making easier for your children and plants your voice in their heads. If you’re wishy washy about follow-through when they’re young, then they aren’t going to trust that you’ll make good on the discipline when they’re older. Lay the foundation and stick to your word. Your kids won’t hate you; they’ll respect you and listen when you speak.

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