Do you ever feel guilty for doing something for yourself, no matter how big or small it is? I do. It’s actually something I’m constantly working on, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. I can tell when other moms are struggling with mom guilt, and you probably can, too. You know, they’re the ones you see standing in the coffee aisle, looking longingly at the flavored specialty coffees. Some even reach out and grab one of those little bags that hold enough to make a single, indulgent pot. But then, as they start to walk away, they turn around and put it back with a shrug of the shoulders. Maybe next time?
It’s a common condition that mothers share: selflessness. It comes with the job. You have to put your kids needs before yours. They rely on you for everything. Your child should never have to live without the essentials so you can have a steamy, home-brewed mug of French Vanilla.
However, if your kids needs are being met — and let’s put it out there, their wants are, too — then what’s the real harm if you do something nice for yourself here and there? Absolutely none. The problem is we don’t think of it that way. We think, “That coffee would be awesome tomorrow morning, but for $2 I could get the kids something special for breakfast and surprise them.” Yeah, admit it. You’ve been there, too.
I had one of these moments the other day. I was at Walmart picking up some cleaning supplies and baby wipes (hooray!) when I noticed a display of gloves. Not even the fancy ones that cost five bucks. No, it was a display of the 2-for-1 basic, knit, stretchy gloves. There was a pack that had both a pink and black pair in it, which would be rad for me because they’d match two different scarves that I’ve had forever. The pack was under $2, yet I stared at those bad boys for a couple of minutes. “Do I really need them? Nahhh. I have a purple pair that don’t match anything, but they still do the job. I should get some extras for the boys instead.”
As I started to walk away, it hit me. Is depriving myself of something small that will make me feel good and I’ll actually use really going to hurt anyone? No way. And really, having a pair of gloves that matches what I’m wearing will make me feel more confident and I won’t look so bizarre and half put together when I’m out with my family.
Motherhood and martyrdom aren’t synonymous. Sometimes I have to remind myself that doing a little for myself isn’t selfish. My kids deserve to have a mom that’s happy, and those little treats aren’t going to get my selfless mom card revoked.
Do you ever struggle with this? What do you like to do for yourself from time to time?
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