Did you just find out you (or, for daddies, your wife) are expecting? Are you and your partner reacting differently to the big news? Relax. It’s okay. Women and men process pregnancy and bringing a baby into the world differently, it’s how we were built.
When women find out they’re pregnant, it’s “real” almost instantly. From the very beginning of our pregnancies, we can feel changes in our bodies. Our hearts and minds are filled with the hopes for our futures and our attentions turn towards taking care of our bodies and babies, even before we hear that first glorious heartbeat at the doctor’s office. It’s instinctive and beautiful.
For even the most excited daddy-to-be the thought process is different, which is also an instinctual reaction. The overwhelming need to “take care of things” becomes priority. Can we afford this? Do we have enough insurance? Is our house big enough for a family? Will she be okay? Is the baby okay? Their minds whirl with so many questions that it may overshadow the happiness that they are truly feeling. The need to provide for their families becomes priority number one. This isn’t a bad thing, but it’s often not what expectant mothers envision for the early weeks or months of pregnancy. Moms want to see the same excitement they’re feeling in their partners.
So, mommies and daddies-to-be, here’s the breakdown from a gal who’s been there. Neither of you are wrong. Neither of you are being insensitive or oversensitive. It may seem that way, but what you’re experiencing is very common and won’t last throughout the entire pregnancy. And, believe it or not, even though your minds seem to be in different places right now, you’re actually doing it because you’re on the same team.
You both have feelings of worry and excitement, even if you’re not showing them both outwardly. The best thing you can do is sit and talk. Lay it all out on the table. You’ll find that you really are on the same page, just in your own ways. If you’re each sensitive, supportive and understanding about what the other is going through, this early emotional stage of pregnancy will quickly pass, and your relationship will only strengthen.
Becoming a parent, even in the early stages of pregnancy, is a huge transition for both genders. There is a huge spectrum of emotions that you’ll both experience throughout your pregnancy (and beyond): Joy, worry, excitement, fear, concern and overwhelming responsibility for your whole family. Rest assured that you’re both feeling these things, and when you do, share them. You’re a team. You’re parents.
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