Finding time to pamper yourself between diapering babies and running to softball practice can be hard. Often times, moms feel there just aren’t enough hours in the day, and the first person’s needs to be thrown on the back burner are her own. Sacrificing your needs is part of motherhood, right? Well, it doesn’t have to be.
For a long time, I was one of these women. I’d spend my days with my hair up in a clip, and my skin hadn’t seen a home facial in years. My jeans only made their way out of the closet when I was going somewhere “special.” Otherwise, sweatpants and a T-shirt were my day-to-day uniform. I felt that there just wasn’t enough time to take care of everyone in my family, so the things that I wanted to do for myself weren’t important.
After a while, I came to realize that I was wrong about that. I started to feel like some sort of mom-bot, going through the motions, but no longer myself. Sure, my family was well cared for, but I just wasn’t. I’d lost touch with myself and the things that make me tick.
I knew that a change was due. I had to find a balance between my family’s needs and my own. Motherhood isn’t synonymous with martyrdom, but it does require compromise. I started looking for ways to take care of myself and fulfill my needs without neglecting my other roles as a wife and a mother. It was a challenge, because no matter what your situation, balancing motherhood, marriage and womanhood is a juggling act. I looked at the challenge as a puzzle to be solved, not as an unmovable mountain.
First, I made a list of the things that I liked to do for myself from taking a bubble bath to reading a magazine. It sounds silly, but I really didn’t think I had the time for either. Second, I made list of all the things that I have to do that require a lot of waiting, like picking my son up from school, doing laundry and even cooking. After I thought about it for a while, I realized there were a lot of things that I did in a day where I was twiddling my thumbs and waiting for the next step of the process. That’s time that could be put to use elsewhere.
Third, I looked at the list side by side and tried to puzzle things together to mix business with pleasure (like filing my nails while I’m waiting for school to let out) or multitasking my chores to free up ‘me’ time later (like doing laundry and making grocery lists while I’m cooking). It’s not uncommon to see me putting laundry away with a mud mask on or updating the family calendar while I help my son with his homework.
Finding time for yourself may not be the same after you have kids, but it can, and should, be done. You may not get a two-hour pampering marathon whenever you want, but if you find creative ways to break it up and fit the things you like to do for yourself into your day, then you’ll be surprised at how good you feel.
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