My oldest son came to me the other day and said that his tooth was loose. I scoffed it off because my baby can’t be old enough for that, right? He opened his mouth and pointed to the tooth in question, and with a feeling of anxiety and trepidation, I pushed my finger up against it… and it moved.
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! The shining example that my baby isn’t a baby anymore mockingly wiggled beneath the slight pressure of my finger, and I swear I could see the tooth wryly smiling back at me. OK, maybe I am exaggerating just a little… it was more of a smirk.
Sometime in the next week or two, my 5-year-old will lose his first tooth, and he will bring it to me excitedly in his fingers and I will smile back. But in my heart, I realize that his first ADULT tooth will be coming behind it. I’ll tell him to put it under his pillow, and that the Tooth Fairy will come in the night and take his tooth and leave some money in its place.
It’s hard enough to contemplate the jolly fat man pulling a B and E every year to leave an assortment of presents, but now a whole new fairytale creature is exploding into my life. Who is the Tooth Fairy? Is it a he or a she? Is it a winged pixie with shiny transparent wings or a relatively well-dressed banker with a ledger of tooth lose to money ratio?
What’s the going rate for a tooth? When I was a kid, I used to get a quarter, but I assume that’s pretty lame now. Does the tooth fairy leave cold, hard cash? Does she leave behind a few Sacagaweas? Maybe a gift card, but that just doesn’t seem very personal. “Congrats on loosing your tooth! Here’s a gift card to Kohl’s. Enjoy the new khakis.”
There will be the inevitable questions: “What does the Tooth Fairy need with my teeth?” and “I’m not comfortable with a strange woman with wings hovering over me trying to steal body parts.” (That’s last one’s probably just me.)
I guess I will just rent “The Tooth Fairy” with The Rock and maybe that one with Kirstie Alley and hope for the best. Knowing me, there will be an extravagant backstory, complete with villains, heroic Tooth Fairies and the importance of flossing. Hmm… maybe this could be fun, after all.
About jessi
