It’s a fact that no matter how good a person you are, there’s bound to be someone in this world who won’t like you. You’re oil and she’s water, and no matter what you do, the two of you just don’t mix. This can happen with a student and teacher, as well, especially with smaller children who are just trying to push boundaries.
As every parent knows, not all teachers are created equal. Each one has a different personality and teaching style that just doesn’t mesh with some children, and what happens is that your kid ends up being labeled a troublemaker.
Young children are like emotional powder kegs ready to go off on a moment’s notice. It doesn’t take much to get a child to start a tantrum, get mad or get upset when something happens that he doesn’t like. When this happens, the reaction of the teacher either calms the child down or just makes matters worse.
Some children naturally respond to discipline and quickly learn to follow the rules. Teachers who are overly affectionate or easygoing can end up making a bad situation worse, because instead of getting a time out, the child is coddled. The opposite can also be true. A child who needs affection and understanding will react negatively to a teacher who is a disciplinarian and stand-offish. As a parent, what can you do to make things more amicable for the two?
1. Talk to the teacher. If your child gets in trouble regularly and you think it might be because of a personality clash, then talk to the teacher. Don’t go to the principal, superintendent or the school board. It’s important to get the teacher’s side of the story and to talk to her about your child. It needs to be a compromise. She has a whole class to take care of, but at the same time she shouldn’t be excluding or separating your child because she thinks he’s a troublemaker. Tell the teacher what strategies you’ve found work best for your child.
2. Work with your child. As parents, we like to think that our children are little angels and the problem must rest with the teacher, but we know that isn’t always the case. There are decisions being made by both parties that need to change. The only way your child will know that is if you sit down and talk about it with him. Let him know that hitting, yelling, throwing things or any other kind of outburst is never acceptable and that he needs to make different choices. Try to work with him on ways to calm his anger when he and the teacher don’t see eye to eye. Keep the conversation direct but tailored to his age and level of understanding.
3. Suggest a type of teacher for the following year. Once a child has been placed in a class, it’s pretty much set in stone. A lot of time and effort goes into balancing the classes on size and personality. While most schools won’t allow you to choose a particular teacher for a child, many do allow you to choose a particular teaching or personality type. This way, your child can get the attention he needs from a teacher with a style that’s complimentary to his needs and personality.
Throughout his academic career, your child will encounter many kinds of teachers, so understanding how to get both of them to coexist, even if it’s only for a semester, is imperative.
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