I love animals. So when my husband or kids want to bring home a movie that stars a dog or some other animal, I generally try to veto it. Why, you may ask? Because the dog always dies in these movies. It seems that no matter the subject, Hollywood seems to think that the best course of action is always to kill the dog for drama. Here is my list of the four most depressing dog movies. Be warned, you may need Kleenex just reading these.
4. “Turner & Hooch” — The majority of this movie is actually funny, as Tom Hanks tries to control the massive dog who eats his car and breaks everything. Slowly, they form a bond and friendship culminating in… DEATH! Yep, old Hooch shuffles off this mortal coil, and I am left bawling on the floor like a little girl. I was one, after all. How do they reconcile this travesty? By introducing a bunch of Hooch puppies. As if the fact he got a dog knocked up can make up for the fact that the little ones will grow up without a father. Pongo and Perdita, do you have room for 103?
3. “My Dog Skip” — Ah, the touching story of a boy and his dog overcoming adversity and gaining acceptance. That is, until the kid grows up, abandons the dog and the pooch dies alone in the house while the kid is in college. This movie is so wrong that I have banned it from my home and even from some of my friends’ homes. I know this is supposed to be more true to life and that it shows the price of growing up… yada yada yada. I want the Hollywood ending. Skip and his owner live happily ever, and he dies of old age in the arms of the boy… now, man… that had been is constant companion. Come on, Hollywood, it’s time for a reboot.
2. “Where the Red Fern Grows” — When I was a kid, my elementary school class was read this book by the teacher. We all marveled at these coon dogs and a young boy who loved each other through thick and thin. But by the end of the book, the whole class needed therapy, because one dog died of injuries and the other died from a broken heart. UGH! What were they thinking? Then what did they do? They showed us the movie! Note to self: NEVER let my children’s school read them this book.
1. “Old Yeller” — This movie was the progenitor of all dead dog movies thereafter. This movie can make Satan bawl his eyes out and then need a hug from an angel. For kids, it’s a nightmarish trip about the disease of rabies and how I never wanted to get near a wolf. If you don’t cry when Old Yeller dies, then you have no soul. Old Yeller is a family dog that gets bitten by a rabid wolf while saving his human family. Slowly, Old Yeller descends into rabies madness and is shot by his owner. I think this movie is responsible for one-third of the Xanex sales in the U.S.
What have we learned here? If it stars a dog and isn’t a cartoon (save of course, “All Dogs Go to Heaven”), then skip it and rent something less traumatic. Like “Natural Born Killers.” Or “Platoon.”
Image Source: flickr.com/photos/tudor/3354801203
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