A younger relative of mine is one of my “friends” on Facebook. I first accepted her friend request in hopes of better staying in touch, since we only see each other a few times during the year. At first, the page was filled with your average tween crises like not having enough frizz-ease after gym class and getting in trouble because of a sub-par grade. I’d get a chuckle out of the severity of such minor situations and reminisce over days gone by when my life was so blissfully uncomplicated.
Over the weekend, I got curious about what the little lady was up to these days. She’s very active in sports, and I hadn’t seen many updates lately. When I clicked on her page, my eyes bugged out of my head. Her innocent childhood ramblings have turned into snarky, expletive-laced rants, questionable profile pictures and date night confessions… of a small-town 12-year-old.
I’m not so naïve as to think the little miss is perfect and above misbehaving, but I’m astonished that she’d think splashing that funk on the Internet was in any way, shape or form appropriate, or even slightly OK. And if her conscience isn’t guiding her, I’d think the high probability of getting busted would. I’m not the only person in the family who’s a “friend” of hers. In fact, her own mother follows her page.
Now, I don’t think that the other relatives are turning blind eyes to her shenanigans; I think they just aren’t checking up on what Miss Thing with her tube top is scribbling for the world to see. And she knows it. Why keep your nose clean if nobody’s watching?
So, here’s the deal. Sites like Facebook, MySpace and Twitter are wildly popular forums for kids to flex their independent muscles. And while I do believe that even children should have a right to privacy, if what they’re writing is in a public place, then parents should be checking them out regularly and monitoring what the kiddies are up to.
Kids behave like children. It’s funny, because it’s true. If they know they’re going to get away with something, they’re going to do it. It may seem like harmless fun while they’re publicly ridiculing classmates or testing the wide world of profanity, but what they don’t realize is that they’re leaving an impression of themselves right out in the open for everyone to see.
Teachers, potential employers, relatives and other children’s parents all have access to what your kids are putting on these popular sites, and those people are judging your kids’ characters and your child-rearing abilities.
If your children are using these sites, guide them toward making the right decisions as to what content they share in the following ways:
• Make it a condition that you have 24-hour access to their pages.
• Talk to them about Internet safety and the image they’re building through their posts.
• Check their pages regularly and discuss what you’ve seen, good or bad.
Knowing that you’ve got a parental eye on how they’re conducting themselves will encourage them to keep their messages clean and harmless. It isn’t prying. It’s parenting.
Image Source: flickr.com/photos/45688888@N08/4191381737
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