We had a rough weekend at my house. My daughter turned two recently and it seems like overnight she’s become more and more difficult. Kicking, screaming, throwing herself on the floor. It’s exhausting. After she threw her cup from the dinner table, I raised my voice and said “STOP IT” and then put my head down on the table and sighed. My daughter became totally quiet for a moment and then said “Mama…no sad.” I felt terrible, like the worst parent in the world. When she went to bed I started looking around online for parenting advice and I came across a list of general tips that would help any parent. They are simple and to the point and I thought I would share them with you:
There’s not just one right way to raise children. And there’s no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child. But here are some guidelines to help your children grow up healthy and happy:
- Show your love. Every day, tell your children: “I love you. You’re special to me.” Give lots of hugs and kisses.
- Listen when your children talk. Listening to your children tells them that you think they’re important and that you’re interested in what they have to say.
- Make your children feel safe. Comfort them when they’re scared. Show them you’ve taken steps to protect them.
- Provide order in their lives. Keep a regular schedule of meals, naps and bedtimes. If you have to change the schedule, tell them about the changes ahead of time.
- Praise your children. When your children learn something new or behave well, tell them you’re proud of them.
- Criticize the behavior, not the child. When your child makes a mistake, don’t say, “You were bad.” Instead, explain what the child did wrong. For example, say: “Running into the street without looking isn’t safe.” Then tell the child what to do instead: “First, look both ways for cars.”
- Be consistent. Your rules don’t have to be the same ones other parents have, but they do need to be clear and consistent. (Consistent means the rules are the same all the time.) If two parents are raising a child, both need to use the same rules. Also, make sure baby-sitters and relatives know (and follow) your family rules.
- Spend time with your children. Do things together, such as reading, walking, playing and cleaning house. What children want most is your attention. Bad behavior is usually an attempt to get your attention.
Image: Baby Specialist
About babies
I have a two year old who doesn’t throw temper tantrums, but she does find her ways to push all of mom’s buttons. I told her the other day that I was very sad at the way she was acting. She looked at me with her big blue eyes and told me that, “It’s okay, mommy. I will make you happy.” And she did.
We can’t beat ourselves up when we show that we are human beings trying our best to raise other human beings…who have minds and thoughts all their very own. We can remind ourselves, with the same patience that we want to show to our children, that while we might fail on occasion, we ARE doing the best that we can. Oh yeah, and we have to actually do the best that we can:) Thank you for sharing your findings! It’s a great reminder.